I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me. “Norwegian Wood,” The Beatles
I went out and toured a farm today. For a part-time farm help job. Me. Working on a farm. Never thought I’d see the day…
She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh. I told her I didn’t and crawled off to sleep in the bath.
I’m preparing myself for the day Farm Girl asks why I took it. Here’s what I’m thinking:
The Public Answer – I have friends who are into Ag who say that farming is a good way to start over, get my head on straight, and get in touch with the land and food appreciation.
The Real Reason – I need to know. She told me she wants someone who is passionate about seed exchange and Native American culture erasure and farming as a source of community between classes. It’s something I know nothing about, and she doesn’t want to have to teach me. She wants someone who is into it and knowledgeable and passionate of their own accord. So I have to find out. I need to know if I can get into it, if I believe in it, if I can fall in love with the land and the process. Instead of giving her all the power, instead of hoping she will realize I treat her like she deserves to be treated, instead of waiting while she finds herself through dating and dealing with things at home, I’m going to control what I can control. Getting healthy, getting in shape, those are universal things I need to do. But this… taking the steps to discover the things that she is passionate about, throwing myself into a world I’m unfamiliar with and pouring my heart and soul into it… that puts the power back in my hands. I’ll regret it if I don’t at least try.
She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere. So I looked around and I noticed there wasn’t a chair.
If I hate it, if I don’t get on board, then that’s probably my answer about what happens with her from here. The part of the universe that says two people from different worlds can’t make it together will be proven right.
But if I love it… if I find out I’m passionate about it, that I believe in becoming one with the land and living off it and appreciating the life it gives and wanting to use that in a way that brings people from every walk of life together and breaks down borders and barriers and truly live a life of acceptance and humility and realize what truly matters… then I’ll know. I’ll know why I’ve had this feeling jumping around in the background of my soul, I’ll understand why the connection we have is so strong. And I’ll be more confident as I then begin to figure out what the hell I’m going to do about it. And I’ll smile because I always knew two people from different worlds could make it together.
Living a life that matters.