Chasing Pavements

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?  Even if it leads nowhere, or would it be a waste?  Even if I knew my place should I leave it there? – “Chasing Pavements,” Adele

I wrote this one night after an encounter with Farm Girl, Poly Girl, and The Ex all on the same day. I sent it to Farm Girl, as she is a poet. I wanted her to like it. She said she likes my prose better. More importantly, I wanted her to get that I was, in the deepest recesses of my conscious mind, choosing her.

I don’t think she did.

 

“Three In One Day”

At morning light…

Eyes open.

Quick glances find me here again.  Sleep survived. 

Unsure the meaning of bodies revived.

Sit up.

You fill my mind.  Quickly, a smile.

Close eyes again to daydream a while…

The flicker of hope, whether trusted or not

Gives direction.  Inspiration.  Where has this been?

Where have you been?

Just say something.  Anything to ease this want.

The sun above…

Blindsided.

She hits me in the dark.  Out of nowhere

With words and accusations of unfair

Treatment. 

The kid.  The pictures.  The car.

I gave that girl my heart, my future.  She knows me, right?

She knows I did the best thing, right?

She should.  She broke me.  Stop pushing so hard.

Sun is setting…

Decisions.

I talk to her through thoughts and doubt

About what’s best.  Where to go.  How to figure things out.

Direction.

Look back.  Look forward. 

Her voice says try again.  Will her thoughts about me die?

Will the person I was die?

The mistrust in her voice is heard.

The day is done.

And my hope, my choice, my wish

Is for morning light.

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